The very crux of your writing whilst appearing reasonable in the beginning, did not sit very well with me personally after some time. Someplace within the sentences you were able to make me a believer but only for a while. I nevertheless have a problem with your jumps in logic and one would do nicely to fill in those breaks. In the event you can accomplish that, I could undoubtedly end up being impressed.
The very crux of your writing whilst appearing reasonable in the beginning, did not sit very well with me personally after some time. Someplace within the sentences you were able to make me a believer but only for a while. I nevertheless have a problem with your jumps in logic and one would do nicely to fill in those breaks. In the event you can accomplish that, I could undoubtedly end up being impressed.